Blog – Page 24

May

2014

Ten Thoughts on Pinocchio

I’m beginning to think I should have titled this series of posts, “Twenty Thoughts on…” because I clearly have a lot of thoughts about Disney movies. Anyway, Pinocchio (1940) is the second film from Walt Disney Productions, coming three years after Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I’m not sure I’ve ever sat and watched the whole thing straight through before, but I know I’ve seen it in bits and pieces, probably in an edited form on TV when I was a kid.

One of the Sequence Directors in the opening credits is T. Hee. A quick internet search reveals his real name is Thornton. I love that he used his initial to turn his professional name into laughter. I think I would have liked him.
The attention to detail in the animation is amazing, particularly in Geppetto’s workshop. Everything looks like something he made himself. You could pause on any frame and find something you didn’t notice before. Still, the house is filled to overflowing with toys. Does Geppetto ever sell anything? Is he a hoarder? Watch out, Figero! Somebody’s going to find your skeleton under a pile of TV Guides in a couple of years!
That is one sexy fish.
Geppetto sleeps with a gun under his pillow. That bears repeating. Geppetto sleeps with a gun under his pillow.
Geppetto’s just going to send Pinocchio off to school by himself? He’s only a few hours old! Someone call Child Services.
“Hi-diddle-dee-day! An actor’s life is gay!” (It sure is!) I love the whole “I Got No Strings” number, but the sexy French puppet makes me uncomfortable.
The nose-growing thing has become such the focal point of Pinocchio’s story, I didn’t realize it only happens once in the movie, when the Blue Fairy frees him from Stromboli’s wagon.
Pleasure Island is awesome. I would turn into a jackass in the first ten minutes.
Are we supposed to believe that Pinocchio drowned? Because we just watched him walk across the bottom of the ocean floor not five minutes ago.
As much as I enjoy Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Pinocchio is a better film. There’s an actual story, for one thing, and that final action sequence with Monstro is pretty great. The scope of the film is so vast. Snow White feels like a feature-length animated short. Pinocchio is a movie.

May

2014

Alan Lennox on sale!

My first book, Alan Lennox and the Temp Job of Doom, is on sale this week (through Sunday 5/11) for just 99 cents! You can also get it for the Kindle, the Nook, iBooks, or Kobo. Book two is already out, so if you like this one you don’t have to wait for the sequel!

Alan Lennox has been assigned yet another soul-crushing temp job, keeping him from his first loves – drinking, playing video games, and looking for a boyfriend. But Alan’s new job proves to be anything but boring when his co-workers start turning up dead. The mysterious megacorporation Amalgamated Synergy has taken a deadly interest in Alan and his three roommates, and the hapless quartet are woefully unequipped to deal with the psychotic secretaries, murderous middle managers, and villainous vice-presidents hunting them down.

Their investigation leads them deep into Amalgamated Synergy’s headquarters, but can Alan and his friends stay alive long enough to discover who – or what – waits for them on the top floor?

Alan Lennox and the Temp Job of Doom is the first book of The Future Next Door, a contemporary urban science fiction comedic thriller series.

Book One: Alan Lennox and the Temp Job of Doom
Book Two: Caitlin Ross and the Commute from Hell
Book Three: Mark Park and the Flume of Destiny (coming 2014)
Book Four: Dakota Bell and the Wastes of Time (coming 2014)

Apr

2014

Snazzy new covers!

I’ve had the covers for both of my books redone, and here’s the big reveal! (Well, my mailing list got a peek at Alan Lennox and the Temp Job of Doom earlier this month, but this is the first appearance of the new cover for Caitlin Ross and the Commute from Hell.)

While I love the original covers, the feedback I was getting was that they weren’t necessarily giving new readers the clearest idea of the books’ genres. I’m thrilled with these new ones – I think they just scream “contemporary urban science fiction comedic thriller,” don’t you?

If you’re a fan of the originals, they’ll remain as the covers to the paperbacks for some time yet – these new ones are just on the e-books, for now. But hurry if you want them – I’ll be updating the paperback covers too at some point before the release of book three, Mark Park and the Flume of Destiny, this summer.

Oh, you want to buy them? Thanks! Here are some links for you:

Alan Lennox and the Temp Job of Doom: Amazon, Nook, iTunes, Kobo.

Caitlin Ross and the Commute from Hell: Amazon, Nook, iTunes, Kobo.

Mar

2014

Admitting You’re Terrible

I’m currently working on Mark Park and the Flume of Destiny. It’s the third book in my series, The Future Next Door, and it is also, not coincidentally, the third book I have ever written.

Writing is a skill, of course, and like any skill, you get better at it the more you practice it. My first book, Alan Lennox and the Temp Job of Doom, took me just about a year to write, from first word to publication. I learned a lot as I was writing it – both from the act of writing itself, and from actually studying the craft of writing by reading what other, smarter writers than me had to say – and by the time I was finished with the first draft, I realized I needed to go back to the top and do some pretty serious revisions. It was a long process, but worth it in the end. It’s a good book.

The second book, Caitlin Ross and the Commute from Hell, came a lot easier. Not easy, just easier. It took about seven months in all. Less time because I had figured out that I’m a plotter – I need to break the story down before I start to write, not figure it out as I go along. This resulted in the first draft needing far fewer revisions. It was even more fun to write than the first book had been, and I think it shows in the end result. It’s a better book.

I say I started working on Mark Park a few weeks ago, but really, I started it at the same time I started Caitlin Ross. After I finished the first book, I plotted out all three of the remaining installments in the series – there’s an overall story building, and I had to know where I was going in order to know how to get there. So I had a blueprint in front of me when I actually sat down to write book three.

But…but but but. Something was off. Writing when I got home from work was becoming a chore to be dreaded instead of the best part of my day. I pushed through, telling myself I was just hitting a wall, I was tired, I was cranky, I needed to be changed, anything except admitting there was something wrong with what I was writing. I got through six chapters before I realized that the book just wasn’t going to work. The book I had plotted would not be a good book, let alone a better book. It would be a bad book.

So I threw it all away. All my meticulous plotting. All those weeks of work. Even the few little bits I liked. Once I beat my ego into submission and admitted that I was doing bad work, and gave myself permission to let it go, I was able to see more clearly what was wrong. And then I fixed it.

Tonight I finished my second take on the plot breakdown, and I’m bouncing up and down in my chair with excitement. I know it’s good. And I can’t wait to start writing again.

Jan

2014

Google stories

I’ve been feeling a little creatively blocked, so I devised a writing exercise for myself. I took the top two male and the top two female first names from the 1990 US census, and typed them into Google followed by the word ‘was.’ I then used the first auto-complete as the beginning of a very short story. And here they are! I wrote all of these in the space of about a half-hour, so they’re extremely unpolished, but hopefully they’ve helped me get a little unstuck as I tweak the plot of Mark Park and the Flume of Destiny. I quite like the second story. The fourth auto-complete was so bizarre I almost chucked it, but I’d only be cheating myself… Auto-complete text is in bold.

James was what today could be termed a “snapchataholic.” He would send his friends scores of short, disposable, and by-and-large unwanted videos of himself engaging in activities which he considered hilarious and the rest of the world considered banal. Here’s James eating a bowl of cereal and shouting enthusiastically. Here’s James making the shocker behind his English teacher’s back. Here’s James sticking his tongue out on the bus home. Most of his friends deleted his snapchats unseen. Only one of James’ acquaintances never stopped checking them – she had a slight crush on James, and was hoping for a naked selfie. But he was too boring for even that.

Mary was the marrying kind. After her fifth divorce, however, she realized that she wasn’t really the “being married” kind. All five weddings were dreams, but all five marriages were nightmares. It all worked out eventually – she and Aaron have been engaged for twenty-three years now. They have two kids and a beautiful home in Palo Alto. In her spare time Mary plans the sixth wedding she’ll never have. The dress would be gorgeous and the food would be divine, but Mary loves Aaron too much to marry him. She knows that just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

John was a zombie. It was fairly dull. The last bit of meat had been eaten decades ago, so there wasn’t much to do. There was a little shambling, a little moaning, but mostly he just stood in place and waited for something to happen. He thought about taking up needlepoint but he only had six fingers between his two hands and besides, learning a new skill seemed like an awful lot of effort. Maybe aliens would invade someday. That would be something.

“Was Patricia Heaton pregnant in 1998?”

“Excuse me?”

“Was Patricia Heaton pregnant in 1998?”

“Who?”

“Patricia Heaton. The actress.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know who that is.”

“She was the wife on Everybody Loves Raymond. Debra was her name.”

“Oh. Okay. I remember that show, sure. My parents watched it.”

“And she’s on The Middle now.”

“Yes, I know who you mean now. What did you want to know?”

“Was she pregnant in 1998?”

“I have no idea. How would I know that?”